I decided to clear out my fridge today. In order to get the courage to do this, I heaved a few beers down my throat. Armed with this slight intoxication as well as a huge butcher’s knife between my teeth and a broken glass bottle in my hand, I opened the fridge door, full of confidence, prepared for anything. Little could I have anticipated the little blue cheese-monster that came from nowhere and attacked me right between the eyes! I stabbed it with the bottle; one, two, three times, until it finally lay lifeless on the floor. Chocked, of course, I raised my eyes and met the horrifying sight of a five-month old sliced ham getting ready to attack me. I swear I saw death in its red eyes! With the bottle still stuck in the cheese, I jumped up and did a Jackie-Chan in the air. Heal of my foot was planted right on the ham with excellent precision. Proud (and chocked) of my performance, I stand up and tried to catch my breath when I saw the green thing coming from the right. I still don’t really know what it was, but it came from a white plastic jar, with a blue lid. I slammed the door closed with my left hand simultaneously with my right hand grabbing the knife and jammed it into the chink. A weird squeak came from the inside of the fridge. It took me at least five minutes before I dared opening the door again. Slowly, really slowly, I peeked into the cold hell, waiting for another attack. No sign of life, just a lonely ketchup bottle in there, nothing more.

I’m quite sure that I’ll take more care of my fridge contents from now on; wouldn’t want to experience this again